guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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