A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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