You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize