Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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