If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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