Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
