susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
porn star boner night. come get it.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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