I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
