was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Oh god it's open bar.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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