So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
