90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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