I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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