i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Randomize
