If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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