my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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