are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
