You can't motorboat a personality
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Randomize
