i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
