I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
