marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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