Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
True strength comes from lack of pants
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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