How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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