Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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