ya dads aren't the best wingmen
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
