Sponge bath it is.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
He passed out mid-signature
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
