If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
