He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
