how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
