Sry I called you an 8
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize