so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
