she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
