she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
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