The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
