ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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