let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize