he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
