im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
