You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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