Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Randomize
