What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I pour the whiskey from now on
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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