Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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