Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
