are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
you inspire me to be a worse person
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
