Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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