Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
