this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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