In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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