my soul wont recognize me after tonight
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
i've created a new STD.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
