): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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