Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
