we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
