This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
