You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
