I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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