This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
i love accidental penises.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
