Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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