just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
