Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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