3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
