So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
