omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
