girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
